What does excitement taste like?

As stressed as I was when I wrote my last blog, that’s how excited I am now. Not for one specific event, just in general. I want to bake and take walks in the below-70-degree weather-even-though-it-is-almost-noon. I want to be productive and offer encouragement. A part of me has come alive again. My parents used to laugh and call me a social butterfly. I love to be around people. In fact I was around people so much in college that starting my senior year until recently, I have been taking a little hiatus. I still have needed my friends and family during this time, but in an introverted way. My husband is an introvert. He receives his energy from silence and rest. We re-energize our relationship from spending time together, which I must say is a perfect compromise for our two personalities. Growing up, I always received my energy from large groups of people. The more the merrier. Granted, I don’t have that opportunity anymore because a stranger in a new state, where am I supposed to find large groups? But I have noticed this: I actually WANT to go to church functions and talk to the people, I actually WANT to have jewelry parties at people’s houses and get excited about necklaces and bracelets and earrings (Oh my!). I had a lot of responsibilities in college by no fault of anyone but myself, and I experienced burnout. I reached a point where the people where not something I looked forward to. I actually hoped people wouldn’t come to my event so that I could go home early. It’s sad.

However, now, the idea of new people is exciting me again! The thought of planning get togethers and having dinner with families is wonderful! I feel like this Jonah part of me has been running away from people out of fear that I will be responsible for something – or the real fear that in my responsibility, something would go wrong and my name would be on the problem, that someone might not like me because of it.

I have realized something. Everybody messes up. Many people watch things happen and think how they would have done that better. So what if you could have done it better. This worked didn’t it? I say that to anyone who is a natural critic and to remind myself, the ever-perfecting perfectionist. Say it with me now: “So what”. The world will go on. People will still smile. Cookies will still have chocolate chips. My son will still unroll the toilet paper...

I feel like a new chapter has just brought about a different tone for the reader and the author has so wonderfully worked the moods of the chapters in sync that one could not possibly put down the book! What will happen next? I can’t wait to find out : )

StReSs

How do you deal with stress? What is stress? Are you stressed? Do you think stress has long term effects? I hope this stress is temporary...

These are questions that can be heard in most married conversations, ours not to be excluded, or any close relationship conversation for that matter. In fact, we are dealing with some of these questions right now. It’s amazing what loving families will do to “make it work”. It makes me sad to think, what if I was not in a loving marriage/family? Stress is one thing but lonely and stressed is unbearable. I am so thankful that is not my situation. Our innocent son keeps us smiling and laughing constantly, and my husband works harder than two people at both jobs. I am not lonely; I am loved. I am so lucky.

To go through thickness and still be joyful is truly a gift and I must think, what if I were not joyful? How sad to lose one’s joy. Finding joy in small things keeps me going.
Last night, we made a very cheap yet still healthy dinner. We were proud of ourselves for being so frugal, but we were slightly wishing we could just splurge and go out to eat for dinner. Then, my adorable husband got out the good dishes smiling and saying, “Why not?”

At some time or another, everyone has hard times, tight times, tough times, sad times, angry times, regretful times, you name it. We must be in control of our response to the cards we are dealt. Are you familiar with the term locus of control? In case you are not, I will attempt a simple explanation based only on a psychology minor.
A person with an external locus of control feels that everything is being done to them. This person might use language like, “The glass just turned over!” instead of “I spilled my drink!” which would be an internal locus of control, where you are in control throughout your circumstances good and bad.

Sometimes I would rather have an external controlling factor because I don’t feel personally responsible. But it doesn’t work that way. I am accountable for my words and actions, even thoughts, whether I feel in control or not, therefore, why not feel in control?! If I am responsible, I might as well be empowered. If I feel like things are hard, I might as well look for the good. Back to the original question, if I feel like things are STRESSFUL, I might as well look for peace.

Peace for me looks like: cleaning my house out of pride not duty, baking a surprise just because out of ingredients I already have, watering plants and observing new growth, singing to my son, going for a walk before the sun is up, marveling at how blessed I am to be married to such a wonderful man, eating off the good dishes.

When you are stressed, what does peace look like for you? Are you stressed? If so, may the Lord who is rich in mercy and abundant in love, meet your needs and may you feel empowered within your circumstances.
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7


Peace to you and your family.