Learning from Teaching

I have been a newly-wed teacher with a degree in social work for five weeks now. In this transitional time of life, which technically started a couple years ago and has continued to require adjustment, I have found myself moving from a Myers-Briggs declared extrovert to a self affirmed introvert with all the observations that come with the conversion. Having explained that, it is these observations that have occupied a great deal of my thoughts and therefore time, especially over these last five weeks.

I teach 7th grade English Language Arts in a 98% poverty district of Waco, TX. As a teacher, I am strongly advised not to get emotionally attached. That’s impossible. My job is to try my hardest to grab a hold of tunnel-vision adolescents and convince them that they actually have a role to play in their own life and that their decisions now affect their life and opportunities later. How can I possibly attempt this without caring deeply for them and wanting the absolute best for them?

As I think about each of my students… There are ones that have already made me proud and I want to continue to challenge them because I know their potential; I want to give them more knowledge and practice because I know they can handle it. I also have students that don’t even try. They say things like, “What’s the point?” and “Why are you picking on me?”. The former students make honest, recognizable efforts to try their hardest and accept correction in order to grow, while the latter seem to wallow. They break my heart. True as this may be, I am required by my school and the state of Texas to give a grade based on my students' efforts. If they do nothing, even if I want them to succeed, I must give them a zero. They want to know why they are failing. I tell them if they come after school and make up their missed assignments, they can bring their grade up. So far two have come. Where are the rest?

In my disappointment of their outward disregard, occasional anger (usually during class) and great desire for their redemtion, I must reflect and thank them for what they have taught me about some of the things God must feel.