What does excitement taste like?

As stressed as I was when I wrote my last blog, that’s how excited I am now. Not for one specific event, just in general. I want to bake and take walks in the below-70-degree weather-even-though-it-is-almost-noon. I want to be productive and offer encouragement. A part of me has come alive again. My parents used to laugh and call me a social butterfly. I love to be around people. In fact I was around people so much in college that starting my senior year until recently, I have been taking a little hiatus. I still have needed my friends and family during this time, but in an introverted way. My husband is an introvert. He receives his energy from silence and rest. We re-energize our relationship from spending time together, which I must say is a perfect compromise for our two personalities. Growing up, I always received my energy from large groups of people. The more the merrier. Granted, I don’t have that opportunity anymore because a stranger in a new state, where am I supposed to find large groups? But I have noticed this: I actually WANT to go to church functions and talk to the people, I actually WANT to have jewelry parties at people’s houses and get excited about necklaces and bracelets and earrings (Oh my!). I had a lot of responsibilities in college by no fault of anyone but myself, and I experienced burnout. I reached a point where the people where not something I looked forward to. I actually hoped people wouldn’t come to my event so that I could go home early. It’s sad.

However, now, the idea of new people is exciting me again! The thought of planning get togethers and having dinner with families is wonderful! I feel like this Jonah part of me has been running away from people out of fear that I will be responsible for something – or the real fear that in my responsibility, something would go wrong and my name would be on the problem, that someone might not like me because of it.

I have realized something. Everybody messes up. Many people watch things happen and think how they would have done that better. So what if you could have done it better. This worked didn’t it? I say that to anyone who is a natural critic and to remind myself, the ever-perfecting perfectionist. Say it with me now: “So what”. The world will go on. People will still smile. Cookies will still have chocolate chips. My son will still unroll the toilet paper...

I feel like a new chapter has just brought about a different tone for the reader and the author has so wonderfully worked the moods of the chapters in sync that one could not possibly put down the book! What will happen next? I can’t wait to find out : )