"I think I've had an apostrophe!"

"I think you mean epiphany." 

I really have! First of all, this is the first time in my life I have closely followed the seasons of the church. I grew up Baptist and I didn't know there were different Christian seasons celebrated by dates and colors throughout the annual calendar. We are currently in the season of epiphany until lent and the color is green to celebrate new growth and new life. Now that you see how perfect the timing is, I must share!

New Year Resolution:

(I feel like it is a little late to announce a new year resolution, but since I've never really been a resolution person, I am cashing in on the resolution deadline extension.)

Benefit of the doubt

I will explain even though this seems simple and self explanatory.
I am a huge advocate for benefit of the doubt. I desperately want to believe that people will mean well even if they did not speak, respond, or act well. 

Ergo a scenario: At what point did receiving a gift mean that you will be forever written off if you do not respond in the gift-giver's designated thank-you note time window? 

Give and take: give, out of the joy of your heart. Receive, in a gracious spirit, and yes, hopefully thank the giver. But sometimes we give so happily and then in such an ugly turn for the worst, become BITTER beyond all reason because we did not receive a response. I urge myself and all, to maintain the joy of giving and assume. Yes I know what assume stand for and I don't care. Assume that the person was appreciative and excited and don't expect anything in return. And then, if the giver chooses to respond, be blessed again, above the joy. Skip the bitterness all together.

Benefit of the doubt

This applies to so much more than just gifts. My husband and I joke about how some people do not have "filters". A filter (n) [is] a conscience-based mechanism that scans your words and actions for socially and situationally acceptable jargon, jokes, comments, stories, shareable opinions, and expressions of feeling. 

Ergo a scenario: A stranger touching a pregnant woman's belly without permission and asking if it is twins, definitely does not have a filter. Michael Scott from the office, definitely does not have a filter. A political enthusiast expecting you to agree with them because you both breathe oxygen and spouting off slurs toward the other party, definitely does not have a filter. You get the idea. 

The above mentioned scenarios are painful when lived out in real life, yet I still have to think that the person meant well. Perhaps their unfiltered behavior is a result of a deeper-rooted insecurity. Perhaps it is the only way they know to act. They have needs just like everyone and to turn my back on them in repulsion based on my ideas of social skills, is to withdraw the hand of grace and friendship. That is not what Jesus did. Jesus demonstrated the rawest form of acceptance to those society had every right to shun based on laws and people skills- good thing Jesus sees past all that. 

Benefit of the doubt/New Year's Resolution

It is recorded in the gospels that Jesus urges us to not judge others.
Luke 6:37-38

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

I turn the mirror of reflection on myself. 

I do not write this as a master of people skills. I write this as a humbled screw-up when it comes to handling situations well. 

Ergo a scenario: In my insecurity, I have assumed before that silence from others in our lives at times must mean flaws in the fabric of our friendship. But why? There are so many other reasons  (# 1 being busy lives) that we may not have had chances to talk > benefit of the doubt frees me from judgement. 

And that's just one example. I think if I can live by this resolution, I will free myself from a prison of judgement and perhaps relieve myself and others of some unnecessary grief. Feel free to join me in my journey of benefit of the doubt. 

To growth and life in this new year. May we recognize the presence of God and walk in truth. Amen.