a pearl for dessert

Phillipians 2:3-4
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

I realize many of my reflective thoughts that have made it on our blog have been about school, but I am finding it hard to turn my mind off and think about hardly anything else- even when I should be sleeping. I am hoping this is a learned art that comes with experience that I will one day master.
I am a little over 5 months into my first year saga and still learning every day through trial, error, and observation. With the TAKS test rapidly approaching, I am trying every new and/or creative tactic I can muster to get my students to pay attention, learn, practice, ask questions, participate, and stop talking during class! Do they not realize that I am teaching them for their own good? They pretend like they are being tortured when they are given an assignment that involves writing or reading which is a problem when you teach ELA. This is a normal daily struggle that I am accustomed to by now. What I have had a much harder time adjusting to is the expectation of humility that comes with being a teacher. It is quite humbling to stand in front of a 7th grader while they throw disrespectful grenades with the intent to destroy and still be responsible for teaching them. Sometimes I want so badly to "put them in their place" or "teach them a lesson". I do not want to be a prideful person, but being refined into a humble one is so much more stressful and irritating than I thought. I identify and sympathize with that poor oyster who never asked for the grain of sand; and yet what a painful process.


In my first teaching post, I marveled over how much my students had taught me about how God must see us. I now think that Jesus included, "Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth (Mt. 5:5)" because God embodies meekness. How else could he even stand to have a relationship with us in the first place? I am thankful that he has not thrown in the towel on me. And, in my gratitude, I will return to school on Monday and try again to teach those who do not wish to be taught because one day they just might decide to learn something and I want to be ready.