The following message has been proofread and approved by my husband. I tell you that because this post includes a personal conversation we recently had.
My heart was sad for a bit because Ryan told me he didn’t know me spiritually. From that comment until the re-do conversation, we were unaware that we were stuck in miscommunication land. I heard what he said, not what he meant. This happens doesn’t it? For any conversation, the gap between what is heard and what is intended is a deep, jagged gorge that can either become a scar or grow the relationship.
First, honesty and grace are crucial. This was cleared up because I asked him about it again after spending some time in thought. He quickly reassured me of my misunderstanding and re-interpreted. He wants to know me better spiritually; deeper. By comparison, these two comments are night and day to me and unmistakably, the second draws me to his heart. I’m so glad I brought this back up even though it was difficult.
Second, I cannot think about this interaction with my husband- how simply I might misunderstand the person I am closest to- and not wonder- just how often does this happen and never become known? Added to our communication possibilities is the entire human race trying to understand and be understood. I am thankful that God looks at the heart. If God only listened to what we said and not what we meant, one might wonder why God ever speaks to us in the first place. The Lord’s grace transcends the gap of reality and intention- even when we do not return the same gracious understanding. We are so quick to assume God should have stopped or changed a situation simply because he could have.
Third, I cannot think about this potential interaction with God and not wonder just how often does this gap occur when I am supposedly speaking to others on God’s behalf. What must it be like for God to watch people be led astray- either intentionally or unintentionally- by other people proclaiming to know God and to know his will? What if they say something that can be misunderstood?
Broken relationships based on misunderstandings break my heart because it didn’t have to be that way. The only suggestion I can plead for on behalf of the misunderstood is honesty and grace. People must be willing to face the one they have been confused or hurt by even though they may find it was intentional. This is scary for those of us that retreat in the face of confrontation, but the alternative of brokenness is much worse. On the other hand, if we are the “confusor”, we must be approachable. How else can a broken spirit have the courage to come to us and beg for re-interpretation?
I thank the Lord that amidst all the confusion and gaps that exist in human interaction, he is constant and approachable even though he need not explain himself to us.
