Saturday, July 31, 2010

Your righteousness is like the highest mountain

Every time we think we are busy, we seem in retrospect to stand corrected by comparison. Maybe we should stop saying that so providence can stop proving to us we were wrong. "If you think you're busy now, I'll show you busy!" Ok I don't really think the universe is working against us quite like that, but sometimes it feels that way, doesn't it?

Since our last post (embarrasingly months ago) we have packed a yellow moving truck, hugged our families, and moved to Albuquerque, New Mexico. We are loving it here. I actually feel like I am "home" and I'm not sure I know why that is. Maybe it is the connection I feel to the mountains I walk outside and see immediately to the right of our apartment building. Maybe it's the time I am spending with our son who I kissed goodbye every morning as I went to work for the first six months of his life. Maybe it's freshness to... everything - the people I see exercising when we go for walks, the cleanliness of the city (which is not even fair to compare to Waco), the welcome we received from the church upon arriving as they showered us with bags of pantry items. I feel like here, I can breathe.

Maybe it's the fact that I am not dreading going to a job where children feel the freedom to cuss at me and shove me without regard to laughable consequence while I stand responsible for their test scores. The removal of this looming life element dominating my last two years is freeing beyond comprehension. I am praying for the students and staff who remain in this deeply saddening culture and I have closed this chapter. Lord have mercy.

And now we turn to our future. What will it look like? I wish I knew. We wake everyday to walk by faith toward our last income pay check as we pray the Lord will provide. The Lord has yet to do so. That does not mean we are care free by any means! It does mean we trust in the God whose love reaches to the mountains; the Lord who preserves both people and animals; whose people take refuge in the shadow of his wings. May we (all) see light in the fountain of his light today. Whether we have difficulty closing a stressful chapter, are living in anxiety or both.

Lord, lead us to drink from your river of delights. May we close our eyes and breathe deeply in your goodness, reflect on your holiness and rejoice in your faithfulness.

* Inspired by Psalm 36:5-9

2 comments:

Locketts said...

I can feel the relief and peace in every line of this post. We felt the same 'home' feelings when we moved to OK, minus the beautiful scenery of course. So glad you've got the time to enjoy being a mommy. Isn't it just the best? Next post we need pictures of sweet Jack though, k?

Living Passionately Means: said...

wow Girl,
You sound so at ease just reading your post put me at peace and ease as well. I'm so glad you're where you are now it sounds like the perfect place for you and your family. I love you dearly and miss you! hope Mr JACK is doing great! Can't wait to see more pictures of you guys love you! keri