Political Grace

If ever a post title was within itself an oxymoron…

I tend to stay away from opinionated political conversations. I don’t feel I am educated in the newest hot topics enough to contribute. However, today I plead for grace.

This blog will stay completely neutral as far as right or left is concerned. Having said that, my subject is President Obama. I’m sure the campaign attacks designed to heighten political popularity will be over soon since voting will take place next Tuesday. Still, the right to vote was not created so we could completely bash fellow humanity. 

THERE ARE ALWAYS TWO SIDES TO EVERY STORY. 

Any time a campaign add shows a picture of a political figure with a negative statement such as, “Harry voted with Sally to drain the school water fountain…” they leave it sounding atrocious so you will hate Harry because Sally is already supposed to be so evil. Remember, there could have been a reason to drain the water fountain that will definitely not be included in a negative campaign add. I don’t expect you are learning anything as you read this, and my purpose for writing this is not a "vote responsibly" reminder.

My plead for grace comes from how often I have heard President Obama’s name in the negative attack adds. It is true he has been in office for almost half his term. It is true that he campaigned for this office by promoting and promising change. It is also true that our expectations of this office are completely irrational (for our current president and any president).

Irrational expectations include:
- The economy to be completely turned around in less than two years. It takes everything longer to get fixed than it did to get broken. An entire nation’s economy is no exception.
- The golden touch mentality. Every other person in our country is allowed trial and error space. I would hope an educated person, like anyone who would win an election for presidency, would make fewer errors than the general public, but that in no way makes them perfect. To take this a step further, if our president was perfect, we would not need Jesus. So there.
- Change. One of the biggest repetitive attacks is “Obama promised change and has failed to deliver.” I barely passed my high school government class (another reason I usually stay out of these conversations) but I have a basic understanding of Congress and the House of Representatives. We have people representing the people who have been voted in for right and wrong reasons. These representatives from every state, Republican and Democrat, are a part of this "Change". They can make it happen or they can table a bill, pigeon hole it, filibuster, in other words, make things not happen. The president (again current, past, and present) is making decisions along side a huge group of people.
*Have you ever been a part of a large talkative committee? Have you noticed how difficult it is to get anything done? You usually end up talking a lot (or listening a lot), often things either don’t happen, or frustrated people hand over projects to loud people just to make them be quiet. Can you imagine being a member of Congress??

And now for grace.

My first year of teaching our school was merged with a low performance school that was shut down only days before the school year started. Talk about a rough start. We got through it and continued with the school year, but there still seemed to be a bit of surprise when test scores across the board went down in comparison to the previous year. Logically, is that really a shock? We needed time. The next year our scores were up from my first year, but still not where they needed to be. Logically, is this still surprising? 

CHANGE TAKES TIME.

My husband is about to begin his first senior pastorate position. We could not be more excited about this new step into our future. But if my husband is held to the same standards as the President of the United States, our family will be scrutinized, ostracized, and miserable. Ryan has shared stories with me of other ministers’ experiences so that I will hopefully be more prepared for our life in ministry. He has told me that it is completely normal for a pastor to be in a church over five years before his or her influence becomes significant to the people.

Return to the President. I know four year terms were decided for a reason, but based on the time context of when that decision was made, I honestly believe four year terms are outdated. With televised, live news, and the internet, everyone knows every piece of information and people are attacked for yawning at the wrong moment. Good grief.

Grace. If we spent half as much time praying as we did forwarding negative, exaggerated emails, we may have a different thought about politics all together.

Lord, save us from ourselves.

What does excitement taste like?

As stressed as I was when I wrote my last blog, that’s how excited I am now. Not for one specific event, just in general. I want to bake and take walks in the below-70-degree weather-even-though-it-is-almost-noon. I want to be productive and offer encouragement. A part of me has come alive again. My parents used to laugh and call me a social butterfly. I love to be around people. In fact I was around people so much in college that starting my senior year until recently, I have been taking a little hiatus. I still have needed my friends and family during this time, but in an introverted way. My husband is an introvert. He receives his energy from silence and rest. We re-energize our relationship from spending time together, which I must say is a perfect compromise for our two personalities. Growing up, I always received my energy from large groups of people. The more the merrier. Granted, I don’t have that opportunity anymore because a stranger in a new state, where am I supposed to find large groups? But I have noticed this: I actually WANT to go to church functions and talk to the people, I actually WANT to have jewelry parties at people’s houses and get excited about necklaces and bracelets and earrings (Oh my!). I had a lot of responsibilities in college by no fault of anyone but myself, and I experienced burnout. I reached a point where the people where not something I looked forward to. I actually hoped people wouldn’t come to my event so that I could go home early. It’s sad.

However, now, the idea of new people is exciting me again! The thought of planning get togethers and having dinner with families is wonderful! I feel like this Jonah part of me has been running away from people out of fear that I will be responsible for something – or the real fear that in my responsibility, something would go wrong and my name would be on the problem, that someone might not like me because of it.

I have realized something. Everybody messes up. Many people watch things happen and think how they would have done that better. So what if you could have done it better. This worked didn’t it? I say that to anyone who is a natural critic and to remind myself, the ever-perfecting perfectionist. Say it with me now: “So what”. The world will go on. People will still smile. Cookies will still have chocolate chips. My son will still unroll the toilet paper...

I feel like a new chapter has just brought about a different tone for the reader and the author has so wonderfully worked the moods of the chapters in sync that one could not possibly put down the book! What will happen next? I can’t wait to find out : )

StReSs

How do you deal with stress? What is stress? Are you stressed? Do you think stress has long term effects? I hope this stress is temporary...

These are questions that can be heard in most married conversations, ours not to be excluded, or any close relationship conversation for that matter. In fact, we are dealing with some of these questions right now. It’s amazing what loving families will do to “make it work”. It makes me sad to think, what if I was not in a loving marriage/family? Stress is one thing but lonely and stressed is unbearable. I am so thankful that is not my situation. Our innocent son keeps us smiling and laughing constantly, and my husband works harder than two people at both jobs. I am not lonely; I am loved. I am so lucky.

To go through thickness and still be joyful is truly a gift and I must think, what if I were not joyful? How sad to lose one’s joy. Finding joy in small things keeps me going.
Last night, we made a very cheap yet still healthy dinner. We were proud of ourselves for being so frugal, but we were slightly wishing we could just splurge and go out to eat for dinner. Then, my adorable husband got out the good dishes smiling and saying, “Why not?”

At some time or another, everyone has hard times, tight times, tough times, sad times, angry times, regretful times, you name it. We must be in control of our response to the cards we are dealt. Are you familiar with the term locus of control? In case you are not, I will attempt a simple explanation based only on a psychology minor.
A person with an external locus of control feels that everything is being done to them. This person might use language like, “The glass just turned over!” instead of “I spilled my drink!” which would be an internal locus of control, where you are in control throughout your circumstances good and bad.

Sometimes I would rather have an external controlling factor because I don’t feel personally responsible. But it doesn’t work that way. I am accountable for my words and actions, even thoughts, whether I feel in control or not, therefore, why not feel in control?! If I am responsible, I might as well be empowered. If I feel like things are hard, I might as well look for the good. Back to the original question, if I feel like things are STRESSFUL, I might as well look for peace.

Peace for me looks like: cleaning my house out of pride not duty, baking a surprise just because out of ingredients I already have, watering plants and observing new growth, singing to my son, going for a walk before the sun is up, marveling at how blessed I am to be married to such a wonderful man, eating off the good dishes.

When you are stressed, what does peace look like for you? Are you stressed? If so, may the Lord who is rich in mercy and abundant in love, meet your needs and may you feel empowered within your circumstances.
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7


Peace to you and your family.

Words

I’ve decided that I would want to have a blog, even if no one ever read it. Something powerful ignites within my spirit when I put my thoughts to words and words to paper (or screen). Reflection and prayer come alive when I see my thoughts before me, reread what I have written, correct my mistakes, add more colorful adjectives and maybe a few analogies, and then click “publish”. That may be my favorite part. I once read a quote that had something to do with there being no purpose in writing without the intent to publish. I can’t fully agree with this idea for everyone- especially 12 year-old girls who live in fear of having their diary read. For me, the thought of being published excited me. The thought of creating words that would one day be quoted or recited as a rhyme.

But words are far more important than how many people read them.
It is with our words that we form a sentence to praise our Creator who gave us the capability to communicate.
It is with our words that we express our true selves to one another; or our lack of words withheld attempting to hide as if refusing to articulate protects us from facing reality.
It is with our words that we declare what we stand for, and why.

When was the last time you sat and wrote words on purpose for the pure enjoyment of seeing where your recorded journey would take you? May I suggest you try? Just start writing. If you are not sure where to start, begin with a prayer. Perhaps a prayer that has been verbally prayed often. Begin with a promise. Perhaps a promise that seems so familiar it may have lost some of its credibility. Start by writing and respond with your opinion about it, the emotions that are stirred by the thoughts you have written so far, your hopes, your frustrations, your “if onlys”. Write them down and go back and read it.

What have you learned about yourself in this process? Has the Lord shown you anything about yourself or your topic?

I hope so. And finally we pray,
Lord, give us a word.

May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.
Psalm 19:14

Lord, when did we see you hungry?

I received an email this morning from Charlotte Hoppe (our area Disciples of Christ minister) regarding the tragedy of unrest in Mexico. The "violence nourished by the money made from drugs" is receiving some attention, but not enough. My heart goes out to the poor souls of parts of Mexico dealing daily with murder, ransacked homes, ransom notes and missing children, large fees for family protection, blackmail, corruption, and the latest: starvation. Many families are thankful for food donations coming in, but even with donation only 50% of their nutritional needs are being met. A church in El Paso is heading up a project to feed our brothers and sisters in Mexico. Here is a portion of the email I read this morning:

"How much is needed? A lot! A challenge of 1000 lbs of Beans & 1000 lbs Rice has been accepted by one church in the TRA [Tres Rios Area]. Recently, a 50 lb bag of Beans with a 50 lb bag of Rice was purchased for $ 42 total at Sam’s Club in El Paso. $ 840 will provide 1Ton of food. Beans & Rice can be sent to First Christian Church of El Paso, 901 Arizona, El Paso, TX, 79902, phone: 915-533-6819, Attn: Sr. Min. Leslie Dalstra. Money donations can also be sent to the First Christian Church of El Paso at the same address. Please mark your check with “Beans & Rice” and these monies will be converted into Beans & Rice and gasoline for the distribution in Mexico."

If your heart strings have been pulled as mine have, find a way to get involved!

I am the summer youth minister at Los Altos Christian Church in Abq, NM. Our youth will be collecting donations and hosting a "Beans & Rice Lunch" on September 19, 2010. Our goal will be to collect monetary gifts to send to El Paso because they can purchase the food just as well as we can and I would rather help as much as we can (not waste any on shipping). If you do not live in this area, feel free to send money to Los Altos (contact me for info) and we will make sure it gets where it needs to go, or follow the instructions above and send it straight to El Paso.

One favor: if you do get involved, please comment here, call me, email me, let me know about it! I would love to here about it. Please do the same if you have other suggestions of how we may respond with love to our neighbors in need.

"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'
Matthew 25:44

Your righteousness is like the highest mountain

Every time we think we are busy, we seem in retrospect to stand corrected by comparison. Maybe we should stop saying that so providence can stop proving to us we were wrong. "If you think you're busy now, I'll show you busy!" Ok I don't really think the universe is working against us quite like that, but sometimes it feels that way, doesn't it?

Since our last post (embarrasingly months ago) we have packed a yellow moving truck, hugged our families, and moved to Albuquerque, New Mexico. We are loving it here. I actually feel like I am "home" and I'm not sure I know why that is. Maybe it is the connection I feel to the mountains I walk outside and see immediately to the right of our apartment building. Maybe it's the time I am spending with our son who I kissed goodbye every morning as I went to work for the first six months of his life. Maybe it's freshness to... everything - the people I see exercising when we go for walks, the cleanliness of the city (which is not even fair to compare to Waco), the welcome we received from the church upon arriving as they showered us with bags of pantry items. I feel like here, I can breathe.

Maybe it's the fact that I am not dreading going to a job where children feel the freedom to cuss at me and shove me without regard to laughable consequence while I stand responsible for their test scores. The removal of this looming life element dominating my last two years is freeing beyond comprehension. I am praying for the students and staff who remain in this deeply saddening culture and I have closed this chapter. Lord have mercy.

And now we turn to our future. What will it look like? I wish I knew. We wake everyday to walk by faith toward our last income pay check as we pray the Lord will provide. The Lord has yet to do so. That does not mean we are care free by any means! It does mean we trust in the God whose love reaches to the mountains; the Lord who preserves both people and animals; whose people take refuge in the shadow of his wings. May we (all) see light in the fountain of his light today. Whether we have difficulty closing a stressful chapter, are living in anxiety or both.

Lord, lead us to drink from your river of delights. May we close our eyes and breathe deeply in your goodness, reflect on your holiness and rejoice in your faithfulness.

* Inspired by Psalm 36:5-9

Strips of Linen

With strips of linen I wrap my past.

Pride is mine; I carry this death.

Deep within I entomb my lust.

Sorrow I hold to my chest.

Bitterness, I will not let you go.

Nor the disappointment I wish to know.

Oh death, here is your victory.

Oh death, here is your sting.

These strips of linen that wrap my past,

are death that forever last.

But in the morning darkness there is hope,

no understanding, but belief.

These same strips now lay without form,

on this resurrection morn.

That which testified to death,

now testifies to breath.

*I wrote this poem early on Monday morning, April 5th - the day after Easter. It is a personal reflection on John 19:38-20:10, the text from Easter Sunday's message.