Thought-provoking Bliss

As I write this morning, I am in a state of pure bliss, which is part of the reason I wanted to write. I don't like to write for public intent out of anger, disappointment, apathy, or revenge. Reading words written for such reasons bring me down and that's the last thing I want to do for someone else. Happy words, on the other hand, are share-able and hopefully uplifting, even to me later when I may feel less blissful. So this morning I want to remember how I feel. Let me explain why I am on Cloud 9.

About a month ago, Ryan had a wonderfully sweet idea. By his suggestion and after a little planning, this morning I enjoyed a child-free, guilt-free breakfast with other mom friends. We didn't share our food or lean across the table to cut eggs into pieces and none of us left looking like we had had an accident because no one spilled anything on us! In a word, it was lovely. It was a soak-it-all-in kind of experience. I was fully aware of how much I was enjoying the small break, but more so I was (am) so thankful for such a loving husband.

As I drove to and from the restaurant I had time by myself in the car, which doesn't happen often, but the big deal to me in the car was having control of the radio. (My music has been commandeered for some time now by a certain 2-year-old someone, who is adorable and opinionated, and replaced with repetitive jingles that visit me in my dreams.) You would think I would take advantage of my country music while I had the chance but on the way home, I actually turned the radio off and just enjoyed the silence and the snow still on the ground from our last storm.

Somewhere between feeling so blessed and being surrounded by white, my mind turned to hopeful advent thoughts. I hope the usual hopes of peace and joy and those hopes are wonderful. But my thoughts were also on my motivation for feeling so blessed this morning. Why this morning, why not every morning? Why not at least Sunday morning? Sunday mornings for me as a mom, Sunday school teacher, pastor's wife mean quite a bit of planning and preparation by myself. Sometimes by the time we are on the way home from church, I am so worn out that I don't even realize that I never fully showed up.

Have you ever had guests in your home that don't want to eat? If you invite someone to your home for a meal, you are excited to share with them what you have prepared in the best of hospitable intentions. Wouldn't you be disappointed if their response was any form of "No thanks"? They may even have a really good reason for not wanting to eat, but there is still disappointment in your heart because of an unshared blessing and a seemingly wasted preparation and invitation.

Now flip that.

Every Sunday morning I go to church "just to be there" OR spend my time of meditation going over to-do lists in my mind OR sit among fellow believers but not do not engage my brain OR complain about a song because I don't like the melody and ignore the powerful lyrics OR walk away from a need because someone else will do it OR check out all together from Monday-Saturday...
I feel like the guest who showed up by God's invitation to receive nourishment and, by whatever popular justification, refuse yet another blessing. I can only imagine how that makes God feel.

My hope for all this advent season is purposeful motivation to engage in each and every tiny, huge, casual, unexpected, planned blessing that crosses our paths. To use a Christmas cliche, that may mean giving blessing through planning and invitation and receiving when someone else has done the same. But most importantly for each of our souls, may we RECOGNIZE God's invitation, participate in God's calling, and may our response be gratitude and to go and do likewise for even the most difficult person in the family, on the block, in the office, or from our past. (If you just pictured someone, I hope you feel challenged.)

It's amazing what a little fellowship followed by alone time can do for the soul! I hope you receive some of that as well this holiday season.

Sincerely warm blessing to you and yours this Christmas with high hopes!

Don't hurt my Daddy!

An age 8 or 9 year old memory stands out to me as we enter the season of Lent.

Cypress Creek Baptist Church (my church since age 3) had a lot of talented people and it was normal for a play to happen at least once a year. This year, I was in the Easter play. I was one of the children Peter tried to shoo away, but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.”

But that is not the vivid memory I keep recalling. It was the voice of another child. Our Jesus actor was carrying his cross down the center aisle of the church. Above the sound of the fake whipping, above the sound of the fake shouting of accusations, above the sound of the soloist, was the daughter of our Jesus actor. Her 4-year-old voice pierced the sanctuary that day changing the hearts of every audience member and actor.

“Don’t hurt my Daddy!”

Her frantic voice and tears left everyone in the room weeping. She was lovingly carried outside by her mother, but her significance remained.

This memory brings tears to my eyes even today. How I love people is how I love God. Therefore, when I hurt people, I hurt God.

How often do we choose hurt over love?

I heard of Lent for the first time in 6^th grade from my Catholic English teacher. I practiced Lent for the first time in college. I didn’t know until then that I was "allowed to".

Lent is not bound by religion or even by denomination. The purpose of Lent is to prepare our souls for Christ’s resurrection. The practice of Lent is to spend the period of time between Ash Wednesday (today) and Good Friday by removing an element of your usual life or by adding an element to your usual life. For example, many people refrain from eating meat during Lent. Some people add something to their normalcy such as a new daily Bible study. Lent is not about obligation, it is about devotion, awareness, reflection, preparation, and perhaps even growth. By adding or taking away something in our routine, we are constantly reminded of Jesus.

A friend recently stated, “I want to be more heavenly minded.”

Lent is a beautiful time for exactly that. 

May we daily choose Love over Hurt. 

I encourage you to practice Lent in whatever way you feel would draw your soul, mind, and strength heavenward.

Sacred Companions: Part III

This chapter felt a little long for me, but I am no quitter. Actually, that's not true. It's embarrassing how many books I have started and not finished. I am trying to do better and I am so thankful to be reading this book WITH a dear friend. If it were not for her, I may not have as much perseverance. Yet another reason why "sacred companions" do so much for our souls. I highly recommend reading this book with a friend so you can discuss it together, not to mention the encouragement received just from knowing you are not alone, even in something as small as story time.

Chapter 3: The Ideals of Spiritual Friendship

"The principal reason friendship is so undervalued is probably that too few people have ever experienced a significant, enduring friendship." (p. 61)

"Love. Friendships involve a bond of love, never simply an obligation of love." (p. 65)

(From C.S. Lewis) "...those who are going nowhere can have no fellow travelers." (p. 66)

"Honesty... It confronts illusions and dares to risk temporary discomfort by calling us to truth." (p. 69)

"Love cannot ignore things that are self-destructive in the loved one." (p. 70)

"... honesty is not just something friends try to practice. It is also something they delight in experiencing." (p. 71)

"... friendships do not tend to remain static. They evolve or devolve- grow or shrink." (p. 73)

This last one was hard for me because I know it's true. I want to remain close to everyone I care about. But how can that be? It's one thing to "keep in touch" through email and facebook, but to hold close friendships with everyone I have ever cared about would take away time I give to being a wife and mother. I have recognized different kinds of friendships in my life:
- My closest friends- we remain involved in each other's present lives,
- My close past friends who I treasure our memories together yet that was then and no longer do we hold the friendship,
- My close past friends that we can pick up where we left off in the few and far between sparks of our busy lives that allow us the relive our friendship in the very moment.

I am thankful for each of these relationships in their own special way.

*If you have ever read this book, please feel free to leave your favorite quotes as comments! I would love to see what spoke to you in each of the chapters.

Sacred Companions: Part II

This chapter was written for me. The following portions underlined in my book left me saying, "Ouch" quite a bit.

Chapter 2: Hospitality, Presence & Dialogue

"... what the person does is secondary in importance to who he or she is. Being must precede doing." (p. 46)

"Spiritual friendship is not primarily a matter of doing certain things. Often, in fact, it is precisely the opposite of doing- not interrupting, not attempting to solve problems, not prematurely or inappropriately advising, not assuming that what has worked for us will work for others. Stated positively: spiritual friendship is a gift of hospitality, presence, and dialogue." (p. 46)

"... soul friends show hospitality by making space in their lives for others." (p. 46)

"... one of the biggest challenges I face in being present for others- being still within my own soul. Stillness is the precondition of presence." (p. 47)

"Soul hospitality is also a gift of safety. Think of feeling safe enough with another person that without weighing words or measuring thoughts you are able to pour yourself out, trusting that the other person will keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away." (p. 48)

"Love is th motive for the gift of presence that the soul host offers others." (p. 48)

"Apart from real love for real people, we will always be dealing with secret (or not so secret) impatience, judgmentalism, disgust, resentment, envy or anger. Real people require real love if we are to give a gift of genuine presence." (p. 49)

"[Presence] also demands I stop analyzing what I am hearing or rehearsing how I will respond." (p. 50)

"To be present to you means that I must be prepared, temporarily, to be absent to me." (p. 50)

"It's so tempting to believe that faking presence is an acceptable alternative to offering genuine presence. But it isn't. And at some level of awareness the other person will always recognize the difference." (p. 51)

"Presence does not demand perfection." (p. 51)

"If I genuinely bring myself to a relationship, I must be prepared to be changed by it." (p. 52)

"When we treat others as objects, even for benevolent reasons, we rob them of their humanity." (p. 55)

"How could I fail to treat Christ with respect? How, then, can I fail to treat a person in whom Christ is present  with the same respect? Respect is the foundation of dialogue, and Christians have a unique resource for offering it: eyes of faith that allow us to see those we encounter as deeply loved by God and bearing his image." (p. 56)

*If you have ever read this book, please feel free to leave your favorite quotes as comments! I would love to see what spoke to you in each of the chapters.

Sacred Companions: Part I

A beautiful friend introduced me to this book. 

I am loving it! I have been a little spiritually slow lately; this book is reviving a direction in me that I have been wondering hopefully, looking for connection and companionship. 

In the preface, the reader is advised to take on this book with a pen ready to underline. I recommend this book to you, but I will also be sharing here on this blog my underlined portions. Although, it will be hard to not just copy and paste the entire chapters.

Chapter 1: The Transformational Journey

"The distant land to which we are called is not heaven. Nor is it some external, physical place. The distant land is the new creature into which Christ wishes to fashion us- the whole and holy person that finds his or her uniqueness, identity and calling in Christ." (p. 26)

"God doesn't want me to become more loving. He wants me to absorb his love so that it flows out from me." (p. 34)

"Thomas Merton reminds us that the root of Christian love is not the will to love but the faith to believe that one is deeply loved by God." (p. 34)

"The goal of the Christian spiritual journey is not to become less human and more divine; it is to become more fully human. Salvation in not to rescue us from our humanity; it is to redeem our humanity." (p. 35)

"Spirituality is the response of spirit to Spirit." (p. 42)

*If you have ever read this book, please feel free to leave your favorite quotes as comments! I would love to see what spoke to you in each of the chapters.

"I think I've had an apostrophe!"

"I think you mean epiphany." 

I really have! First of all, this is the first time in my life I have closely followed the seasons of the church. I grew up Baptist and I didn't know there were different Christian seasons celebrated by dates and colors throughout the annual calendar. We are currently in the season of epiphany until lent and the color is green to celebrate new growth and new life. Now that you see how perfect the timing is, I must share!

New Year Resolution:

(I feel like it is a little late to announce a new year resolution, but since I've never really been a resolution person, I am cashing in on the resolution deadline extension.)

Benefit of the doubt

I will explain even though this seems simple and self explanatory.
I am a huge advocate for benefit of the doubt. I desperately want to believe that people will mean well even if they did not speak, respond, or act well. 

Ergo a scenario: At what point did receiving a gift mean that you will be forever written off if you do not respond in the gift-giver's designated thank-you note time window? 

Give and take: give, out of the joy of your heart. Receive, in a gracious spirit, and yes, hopefully thank the giver. But sometimes we give so happily and then in such an ugly turn for the worst, become BITTER beyond all reason because we did not receive a response. I urge myself and all, to maintain the joy of giving and assume. Yes I know what assume stand for and I don't care. Assume that the person was appreciative and excited and don't expect anything in return. And then, if the giver chooses to respond, be blessed again, above the joy. Skip the bitterness all together.

Benefit of the doubt

This applies to so much more than just gifts. My husband and I joke about how some people do not have "filters". A filter (n) [is] a conscience-based mechanism that scans your words and actions for socially and situationally acceptable jargon, jokes, comments, stories, shareable opinions, and expressions of feeling. 

Ergo a scenario: A stranger touching a pregnant woman's belly without permission and asking if it is twins, definitely does not have a filter. Michael Scott from the office, definitely does not have a filter. A political enthusiast expecting you to agree with them because you both breathe oxygen and spouting off slurs toward the other party, definitely does not have a filter. You get the idea. 

The above mentioned scenarios are painful when lived out in real life, yet I still have to think that the person meant well. Perhaps their unfiltered behavior is a result of a deeper-rooted insecurity. Perhaps it is the only way they know to act. They have needs just like everyone and to turn my back on them in repulsion based on my ideas of social skills, is to withdraw the hand of grace and friendship. That is not what Jesus did. Jesus demonstrated the rawest form of acceptance to those society had every right to shun based on laws and people skills- good thing Jesus sees past all that. 

Benefit of the doubt/New Year's Resolution

It is recorded in the gospels that Jesus urges us to not judge others.
Luke 6:37-38

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

I turn the mirror of reflection on myself. 

I do not write this as a master of people skills. I write this as a humbled screw-up when it comes to handling situations well. 

Ergo a scenario: In my insecurity, I have assumed before that silence from others in our lives at times must mean flaws in the fabric of our friendship. But why? There are so many other reasons  (# 1 being busy lives) that we may not have had chances to talk > benefit of the doubt frees me from judgement. 

And that's just one example. I think if I can live by this resolution, I will free myself from a prison of judgement and perhaps relieve myself and others of some unnecessary grief. Feel free to join me in my journey of benefit of the doubt. 

To growth and life in this new year. May we recognize the presence of God and walk in truth. Amen.

Language

The following message has been proofread and approved by my husband. I tell you that because this post includes a personal conversation we recently had.

My heart was sad for a bit because Ryan told me he didn’t know me spiritually. From that comment until the re-do conversation, we were unaware that we were stuck in miscommunication land. I heard what he said, not what he meant. This happens doesn’t it? For any conversation, the gap between what is heard and what is intended is a deep, jagged gorge that can either become a scar or grow the relationship.

First, honesty and grace are crucial. This was cleared up because I asked him about it again after spending some time in thought. He quickly reassured me of my misunderstanding and re-interpreted. He wants to know me better spiritually; deeper. By comparison, these two comments are night and day to me and unmistakably, the second draws me to his heart. I’m so glad I brought this back up even though it was difficult.

Second, I cannot think about this interaction with my husband- how simply I might misunderstand the person I am closest to- and not wonder- just how often does this happen and never become known? Added to our communication possibilities is the entire human race trying to understand and be understood. I am thankful that God looks at the heart. If God only listened to what we said and not what we meant, one might wonder why God ever speaks to us in the first place. The Lord’s grace transcends the gap of reality and intention- even when we do not return the same gracious understanding. We are so quick to assume God should have stopped or changed a situation simply because he could have.

Third, I cannot think about this potential interaction with God and not wonder just how often does this gap occur when I am supposedly speaking to others on God’s behalf. What must it be like for God to watch people be led astray- either intentionally or unintentionally- by other people proclaiming to know God and to know his will? What if they say something that can be misunderstood?

Broken relationships based on misunderstandings break my heart because it didn’t have to be that way. The only suggestion I can plead for on behalf of the misunderstood is honesty and grace. People must be willing to face the one they have been confused or hurt by even though they may find it was intentional. This is scary for those of us that retreat in the face of confrontation, but the alternative of brokenness is much worse. On the other hand, if we are the “confusor”, we must be approachable. How else can a broken spirit have the courage to come to us and beg for re-interpretation?

I thank the Lord that amidst all the confusion and gaps that exist in human interaction, he is constant and approachable even though he need not explain himself to us.

we are not home yet

Jesus in the garden instructs Peter, James and John three times one simple command: "Keep watch". But prior to this instance, in the last parable Mark records, Jesus says, "What I say to you, I say to all: Watch!"

Emily Dickinson writes:

I many times thought peace had come,
When peace was far away;
As wrecked men deem they sight the land
At centre of the sea,

And struggle slacker, but to prove,
As hopelessly as I,
How many the fictitious shores
Before the harbor lie.

Christians must be careful not to think the job complete. We are not home yet. Therefore, you and I must continue to "keep watch"; this, however, is not an inactive duty. Jesus asks Peter (in the plural), "Could you all not keep watch with me for just one hour? Watch and pray..."

Prayer is not inactivity either. As Rabbi Heschel says, "Prayer takes the mind out of the narrowness of self-interest, and enables us to see the world in the mirror of the holy." When this happens, when we see the world from an aspect void of ego, we will react to injustice, practice redemption, and execute love.

What I say to you, I say to all: [keep] watch!

In sickness and in health

Ryan recently caught a nasty stomach bug. Needless to say, this was an unpleasant experience for him, but it was just as unpleasant for me to see him weak, uncomfortable, and worst of all in pain. The opening night to this sickness resulted in our first all-nighter since college, and Ryan doesn't remember much about the ordeal.
He kept apologizing for ruining our plans and getting sick and was still wanting to protect me even though he was the one who needed to be cared for.
There was this one conversation...

Ryan: I'm so sorry I'm sick. I messed everything up.
Me: What did I tell you?
(* This is what I expected him to say: It's not my fault I'm sick.*)
Ryan: You said, "I love you."

Such the sweetly, simple truth. I'm so glad that's what he heard.

I often hear people say things beginning with, "I feel like God wants me to..." or "I think God is telling me to...". Sometimes we need to focus more on the underlying message. God said, "I love you."

(I'm happy to report that Ryan's fever broke, and he is on the upside on this last day of his spring break. Good timing!)

water

Back in 2006, I spent a life changing summer in Yosemite National Park (a story for another time) and during that summer I had plenty of time to sit back, take in, and reflect on creation. One afternoon, I walked up to Devils Bathtub and sat down on the left side of the cliff. I think I sat there for over three hours, a time I spent in deep thought over life, purpose, the church, and mostly water. Yes water. Water is amazing to me. It is the blood of creation; without it, life would cease to exist.

In the creation narrative of Genesis we read that the spirit of God hovered over the surface of the waters, and then the waters were tamed - separated. The ancients saw the seas as chaos; therefore, some scholars believe the Jewish creation narrative speaks to the reality of God controlling chaos. *this of course has great implications.

So back to July 2006, there I sat on a perch looking out over the Yosemite Valley, formed by water; drinking water out of my Nalgene; thinking about the essence of water. Sadly, I did not have the presence of mind to connect the importance of water and the Genesis creation narrative to the sacrament of baptism… However, just a few days ago Tertullian helped me out:

The Spirit of God, who hovered over the waters from the beginning, would continue to linger over the waters of the baptized ...All waters, therefore, in virtue of the pristine privilege of their origin, do, after invocation of God, attain the sacramental power of sanctification ...Water was the first to produce that which had life, that it might be no wonder in baptism if waters know how to give life.

So I beg you, when you take a drink of water today, remember the baptism you have received - a baptism that gives life.

Busy?

This is my best friend, former roommate, matron of honor, and cousin by marriage Michon. Obviously, I love her very much. I don't get to see her nearly us often as I wish, but sometimes we have rare moments where the planets align and our schedules allow us to be available at the same time to talk on the phone. One of the things I love about Michon is her ability to share with people in an incredibly applicable way that just makes sense. My example of this is my inspiration for this thought.

We always discuss our busy lives and catch each other up when we talk and last time, Michon- without even meaning to be clever- said something very profound. She was telling me about her husband (my cousin whom I also love) and how he is working full-time and going to school full-time making some days very long. However, after explaining this, she agreed this is hard but then continued with how well he is doing spiritually, physically, and staying organized vs. when he has too much time on his hands.

Michon's observation has kept me thinking the last few days, because I realize how true this is for me as well. You would think that having plenty of time on your hands would be optimal above being driven by the monster planner. And yet, I feel equipped to analyze myself (since I have a minor in psychology) and would attest to a personality type to blame for the social butterfly chip that is burried deep inside me and finally admit I need to be around people. Even if that means I will be busy vs. solidly available. I still intensly believe that balance must exist, but as I continue to learn about myself as a believer and now a wife and next a teacher, I understand the value of the relationships in my life. I am so thankful for my husband, my family, my friends (local and abroad), and my job. Where would I be without it all?

Prayer Works

Ryan has been preaching a series about prayer for the last few weeks. Naturally, I have been thinking about prayer a lot. Some of my thoughts have been directly influenced by musings Ryan has shared from the pulpit. Some of my thoughts have come from past experiences and current hopes, and as always, some of my thoughts occur as a result of observation. In my pensive recent weeks, I stumbled across this sign in Waco.Such a simple and true message, yet rusted almost past being recognizable. What a metaphor for the frank reflection of the average prayer attitude! While including others in this statement, I admit this is more of a confession. I want to pray more. Who doesn't? Sometimes I am held back by the mere mystery of what exactly prayer is and how I should pray, especially when I am praying for a person over a long period of time. Does God want me to pray the same thing over and over? Ryan answered this question a few weeks ago with a quote from P.T. Forsyth.
"Love, loves to be told what it knows already... It wants to be asked for what it longs to give."
And this morning Ryan very honestly stated, "I don't know how prayer works, but I know it does work." I couldn't agree more.

a pearl for dessert

Phillipians 2:3-4
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

I realize many of my reflective thoughts that have made it on our blog have been about school, but I am finding it hard to turn my mind off and think about hardly anything else- even when I should be sleeping. I am hoping this is a learned art that comes with experience that I will one day master.
I am a little over 5 months into my first year saga and still learning every day through trial, error, and observation. With the TAKS test rapidly approaching, I am trying every new and/or creative tactic I can muster to get my students to pay attention, learn, practice, ask questions, participate, and stop talking during class! Do they not realize that I am teaching them for their own good? They pretend like they are being tortured when they are given an assignment that involves writing or reading which is a problem when you teach ELA. This is a normal daily struggle that I am accustomed to by now. What I have had a much harder time adjusting to is the expectation of humility that comes with being a teacher. It is quite humbling to stand in front of a 7th grader while they throw disrespectful grenades with the intent to destroy and still be responsible for teaching them. Sometimes I want so badly to "put them in their place" or "teach them a lesson". I do not want to be a prideful person, but being refined into a humble one is so much more stressful and irritating than I thought. I identify and sympathize with that poor oyster who never asked for the grain of sand; and yet what a painful process.


In my first teaching post, I marveled over how much my students had taught me about how God must see us. I now think that Jesus included, "Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth (Mt. 5:5)" because God embodies meekness. How else could he even stand to have a relationship with us in the first place? I am thankful that he has not thrown in the towel on me. And, in my gratitude, I will return to school on Monday and try again to teach those who do not wish to be taught because one day they just might decide to learn something and I want to be ready.

Preach Jesus

In college we used to play a little game where we would take any random object and try to find a way this item or subject could "preach Jesus". The game was silly but the content was pure. This game, however, seems completely pointless after our recent trip to Colorado. I never cease to be amazed and restored by the beauty of God's creation.
Mother Theresa famously quoted St. Francis of Assisi for having said, "Preach the gospel at all times and if necessary use words." I understand the message here, but I happen to love the art of preaching and of course so does my husband; I also have found standing in humble majesty leaves me utterly speechless.

Surveying in Awesome Wonder

This post is a bit of a backtrack. After I graduated from college, I went to New Zealand as a live-in babysitter for a family who had just recently moved there to be missionaries. They were looking for someone who might help them with their kids as they organized their affairs and I was excited for the opportunity to travel! This ended up being an incredible time for me to desperately desire and depend on the Lord as well as learn to reflect. Below is a journal entry I wrote one morning completely energized by the greatness of creation. I have included a few pictures but of course they do not come close to justice!

June 2007

This morning I stepped out the front door of the temporary house where we are staying and crossed the street to the mixture of sand and shells at low tide, ready to enjoy an early run. Running quickly turned into exploring because there was just too much to take in at a quick pace. Exploring turned into Appreciation followed by a deeper Love for my Father who created every bit of this that I would call Spectacular. Yesterday at church there was a guest speaker who suggested the deadliest thing to the human heart is pride. As with everything, there are two sides to every story and I am feeling prideful today. Proud of God and His imagination, proud to be called His daughter. Honored to be included in this incident of Beauty.

I pressed on in my expedition, not sure of what I was looking for but certain it was not yet time to turn back and immensely enjoying the time alone to think and listen. And then I found it. To a runner, this would simply be another large rock. To an explorer, this was a jewel. I started toward the formation and noticed a descent size hole. Hoping I might fit through it, I ducked and crawled. Caught off-guard by the slippery algae-covered other side, I almost went swimming, which reminds me- never leave home without your chacos! As I attempted to regain my composure, I felt a little bit like the Little Mermaid experiencing her first few awkward steps on human legs.

I began to breathe deeper and truly take in where I was. Inches away from the sound and spray of rolling and crashing waves, there was a sense of awe combined with this fragility of life. And still this place I call Peace.

thanksgiving benediction

In light of tomorrow's sermon and the season in general, I wanted to share with you the closing benediction for Adamsville Presbyterian Church in the morning. Maybe on Monday I'll write about the sermon. I must also confess I "borrowed" the meat of the benediction from Joe Shere pastor of Mount Joy Mennonite Church (it's amazing what google can do).

May the Lord bless you and keep you, May He make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you.

May the eyes of your heart be open to all the blessings which surround you; may this awareness produce a harvest of generosity in your spirit.

May thankfulness rise up within you, not just during this short season, but day after day, from the early morning watch until you retire for the night.

May your prayers reflect gratitude, while also acknowledging the needs of others whose situations are so drastically different.

May thoughts of Jesus fill your mind, and thanksgiving be your response.

Strength

One of the benefits of being married to a preacher man is not only hearing the sermon once on Sunday morning. Instead, I get to be present for the process, development, and sometimes practice as well as he gets to be present for my questions, thoughts, and ponderings inspired by his message. Here are some things I will be carrying with me this week:

This morning's message was packed full of reminders that the Lord intends for us to handle one day at a time. "Give us this day our daily bread" is not only a surface prayer for food, but a weighty souvenir for God's chosen people of a time when their most desperate needs were met.

19 Then Moses said to them, "No one is to keep any of it until morning."
20 However, some of them paid no attention to Moses; they kept part of it until morning, but it was full of maggots and began to smell. So Moses was angry with them. (Exodus 16:19-20)

Isn't this so like us? To say we believe in God, that we trust he will provide for our needs, and then say with our actions, "Thank you Lord for providing this one time but since you might not tomorrow, I will take what you have given me and look out for myself." No wonder we as a society struggle with anxiety and selfishness! We have been so trained to plan ahead that we panic before the effort is ever required from us.
What about strength? We are drained and tired because we are trying to handle today and tomorrow at the same time and when tomorrow finally arrives, sometimes yesterday's plans have maggots and they smell. How did Jesus respond to this age old issue?

Matthew 6
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

A friend of mine has adopted this mantra, "As is your day, so shall your strength be." Deut. 33:25

May we walk into this next week knowing we will be tested yet trusting that when we need necessary strength and provisions, God has already provided for that day. Our act of faith is to show up each day where we are expected, living as if we believe he has already done so. Go to sleep, wake up, and repeat.

John the Baptizer ...not a Baptist? ...a Pentecostal?

i've been reading up on John the Baptizer this week getting ready for Sundays message, and in Barclay's commentary i read something that changes some ideals. in Matthew's gospel he quotes John the Baptizer saying, "I baptize you with/in water... he [speaking of the coming Messiah] will baptize with the holy spirit and fire." its interesting to note that whenever he said "holy spirit" he was not thinking about the third person in the trinity. rather as a Jew he was thinking of ruach (Hebrew word for spirit, breath, and wind). ruach is the Breath of life. ruach is the power of God. ruach was present at the work of creation.

Or as Barclay puts it,

"It was the Spirit of God who moved upon the face of the waters and made the chaos into cosmos, turned disorder into order, and made a world out of the uncreated mists… When the Spirit of God enters into a man the disorder of human nature becomes the order of God; our dishevelled, disorderly, uncontrolled lives are moulded by the Spirit into the harmony of God."

benediction

May God bless you with discomfort At easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships. So that you may live deep within your heart. May God bless you with anger At injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace. May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy. And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in the world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done; to bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor. Amen

subversion

I've been reading through Phillip Yancey's book called Prayer, and it has been a wonderful driving force for some new habits. This morning I read that prayer is subversive. I think Yancey is an Open-Theist, and on some levels i can dig that, but the great thing is how he actually believes prayer changes things. What a great concept of God....as if it were new....that God wishes to have a loving, human-like relationship with his created. Back to "prayer is subversive". In Brueggemann's book Prophetic Imagination, he talks about how our current reality is nothing like the reality of Kingdom of Heaven that Jesus preached; that the Kingdom reality is set out and against the current reality, which is plagued by oppression. If prayer is subversive, then it would be an prophetic act crying out from the current reality, urging God to intervene and further the Kingdom of Heaven (like the Lord's Prayer / your kingdom come. your will be done. on earth like it is in heaven).