water

Back in 2006, I spent a life changing summer in Yosemite National Park (a story for another time) and during that summer I had plenty of time to sit back, take in, and reflect on creation. One afternoon, I walked up to Devils Bathtub and sat down on the left side of the cliff. I think I sat there for over three hours, a time I spent in deep thought over life, purpose, the church, and mostly water. Yes water. Water is amazing to me. It is the blood of creation; without it, life would cease to exist.

In the creation narrative of Genesis we read that the spirit of God hovered over the surface of the waters, and then the waters were tamed - separated. The ancients saw the seas as chaos; therefore, some scholars believe the Jewish creation narrative speaks to the reality of God controlling chaos. *this of course has great implications.

So back to July 2006, there I sat on a perch looking out over the Yosemite Valley, formed by water; drinking water out of my Nalgene; thinking about the essence of water. Sadly, I did not have the presence of mind to connect the importance of water and the Genesis creation narrative to the sacrament of baptism… However, just a few days ago Tertullian helped me out:

The Spirit of God, who hovered over the waters from the beginning, would continue to linger over the waters of the baptized ...All waters, therefore, in virtue of the pristine privilege of their origin, do, after invocation of God, attain the sacramental power of sanctification ...Water was the first to produce that which had life, that it might be no wonder in baptism if waters know how to give life.

So I beg you, when you take a drink of water today, remember the baptism you have received - a baptism that gives life.

Prayer

Tomorrow we will finish up a seven weeks series on prayer. During this series we have looked at what prayer does: 1)changes you and I 2)changes situations; then we looked at four prayers in Scriptures that give us prospective and examples of prayer: Psalm 51 - 'prayer of repentance', Habakkuk 3:17-19 - 'prayer of trust', Nehemiah 1:5-12 - 'prayer of petition', John 17:9-19 'prayer that imparts purpose'. Tomorrow we will attempt to tackle one of the more difficult aspects of prayer: 'unanswered prayer'.

In all these discussions I have learned at least one thing... out of all the things I do poorly, prayer is the one thing that I wish to work on the most.

To quote Abraham Joshua Heschel:
We do not refuse to pray; we abstain from it. We ring the hollow bell of selfishness rather than absorb the stillness that surrounds the world, hovering over all the restlessness and fear of life - the secret stillness that precedes our birth and succeeds our death. Futile self-indulgence brings us out of tune with the gentle song of nature's waiting, of mankind's striving for salvation. Is not listening to the pulse of wonder worth silence and abstinence from self-asserting? Why do we not set apart an hour of living for devotion to God by surrendering to stillness? Rushing through the ecstasies of ambition, we only awake when plunged into dread or grief. In darkness, then, we grope for solace, for meaning, for prayer.

I leave you with one last word on prayer - it is the benediction I have given for the past few weeks...

May you continually wrestle with Prayer

May you beseech the door of Heaven with shameless boldness.

May your Prayers produce, in you, a countenance of joy, a gracious demeanor, and a peaceful heart

And may the God of hope, fill you with all peace, that you may abound in hope, assured that your prayers are heard by a loving and gracious Father.

Busy?

This is my best friend, former roommate, matron of honor, and cousin by marriage Michon. Obviously, I love her very much. I don't get to see her nearly us often as I wish, but sometimes we have rare moments where the planets align and our schedules allow us to be available at the same time to talk on the phone. One of the things I love about Michon is her ability to share with people in an incredibly applicable way that just makes sense. My example of this is my inspiration for this thought.

We always discuss our busy lives and catch each other up when we talk and last time, Michon- without even meaning to be clever- said something very profound. She was telling me about her husband (my cousin whom I also love) and how he is working full-time and going to school full-time making some days very long. However, after explaining this, she agreed this is hard but then continued with how well he is doing spiritually, physically, and staying organized vs. when he has too much time on his hands.

Michon's observation has kept me thinking the last few days, because I realize how true this is for me as well. You would think that having plenty of time on your hands would be optimal above being driven by the monster planner. And yet, I feel equipped to analyze myself (since I have a minor in psychology) and would attest to a personality type to blame for the social butterfly chip that is burried deep inside me and finally admit I need to be around people. Even if that means I will be busy vs. solidly available. I still intensly believe that balance must exist, but as I continue to learn about myself as a believer and now a wife and next a teacher, I understand the value of the relationships in my life. I am so thankful for my husband, my family, my friends (local and abroad), and my job. Where would I be without it all?

Prayer Works

Ryan has been preaching a series about prayer for the last few weeks. Naturally, I have been thinking about prayer a lot. Some of my thoughts have been directly influenced by musings Ryan has shared from the pulpit. Some of my thoughts have come from past experiences and current hopes, and as always, some of my thoughts occur as a result of observation. In my pensive recent weeks, I stumbled across this sign in Waco.Such a simple and true message, yet rusted almost past being recognizable. What a metaphor for the frank reflection of the average prayer attitude! While including others in this statement, I admit this is more of a confession. I want to pray more. Who doesn't? Sometimes I am held back by the mere mystery of what exactly prayer is and how I should pray, especially when I am praying for a person over a long period of time. Does God want me to pray the same thing over and over? Ryan answered this question a few weeks ago with a quote from P.T. Forsyth.
"Love, loves to be told what it knows already... It wants to be asked for what it longs to give."
And this morning Ryan very honestly stated, "I don't know how prayer works, but I know it does work." I couldn't agree more.

a pearl for dessert

Phillipians 2:3-4
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

I realize many of my reflective thoughts that have made it on our blog have been about school, but I am finding it hard to turn my mind off and think about hardly anything else- even when I should be sleeping. I am hoping this is a learned art that comes with experience that I will one day master.
I am a little over 5 months into my first year saga and still learning every day through trial, error, and observation. With the TAKS test rapidly approaching, I am trying every new and/or creative tactic I can muster to get my students to pay attention, learn, practice, ask questions, participate, and stop talking during class! Do they not realize that I am teaching them for their own good? They pretend like they are being tortured when they are given an assignment that involves writing or reading which is a problem when you teach ELA. This is a normal daily struggle that I am accustomed to by now. What I have had a much harder time adjusting to is the expectation of humility that comes with being a teacher. It is quite humbling to stand in front of a 7th grader while they throw disrespectful grenades with the intent to destroy and still be responsible for teaching them. Sometimes I want so badly to "put them in their place" or "teach them a lesson". I do not want to be a prideful person, but being refined into a humble one is so much more stressful and irritating than I thought. I identify and sympathize with that poor oyster who never asked for the grain of sand; and yet what a painful process.


In my first teaching post, I marveled over how much my students had taught me about how God must see us. I now think that Jesus included, "Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth (Mt. 5:5)" because God embodies meekness. How else could he even stand to have a relationship with us in the first place? I am thankful that he has not thrown in the towel on me. And, in my gratitude, I will return to school on Monday and try again to teach those who do not wish to be taught because one day they just might decide to learn something and I want to be ready.

ἐπιεικες

I know this makes me a nerd, but I have a new favorite Greek word. ἐπιεικες - pronounced ep-ie-kase - meaning "not insisting on every right of letter of law". It's kind of an interesting word for Greek students. It only occurs a few times in the New Testament; most notably the NIV translates it as 'gentleness' in Philippians 4:5, "Let your gentleness be evident to all." The problem is 'gentleness' does not give justice to what Paul is probably saying here. The following is my interpretation of what Paul is getting at here in Philippians 4:5... lets see if it changes anything inside you like it has inside me.

ἐπιεικες has a legal quality. William Barclay gives this example:
There are two students. An educator corrects their examination papers; applying justice, one has the grade of eighty per cent and the other has a fifty. From the point of view of justice there is nothing to be said against these marks. Each student receives his or her due. However, if we go a little further; we find that the student who received an eighty was able to do his work in ideal conditions; he has books, he has leisure, he has peace to study, a room where he can have quiet, he has no worries and no distractions, everything has been in his favor. Moreover, we find the other student, the one who scored fifty per cent comes from a poor home, where his equipment is the bare minimum, or he may have been ill and in pain, or he may have recently come through some time of sorrow or of stress or strain, that in fact, all the conditions were against him. In justice this man deserves fifty per cent and no more; but ἐπιεικες will value his paper higher than that.

ἐπιεικες is the quality of a person who knows that rules and regulations are not the last word; it is the quality of a man who knows when not to apply the letter of the law

Jesus is just setting down to teach in the Temple courts when some really religious men brought before him a woman who had been caught with a man other than her husband. The religious men, who knew what they were talking about, reminded Jesus that under the law this adulterous woman should be killed, and then they asked Jesus what should be done with her. Jesus ponders for a bit; then effectively replies, "How about the first person who can claim they have done no evil in their lives, that person can kill her." Amazingly no one took up this offer.
I believe that Jesus (being without sin) could have applied the letter of the Law, and she should, according to the law, have been killed. However, Jesus went beyond justice and introduced mercy.

In the ancient Greek translation of the Old Testament you can find this word, ἐπιεικες , used in Psalm 86:5 to proclaim God's quickness to forgive.

With all this said, I have yet to come up with a better translation of ἐπιεικες than 'gentleness'. But now 'gentleness' has become something I strive after.

"Let your gentleness be evident to all."

Preach Jesus

In college we used to play a little game where we would take any random object and try to find a way this item or subject could "preach Jesus". The game was silly but the content was pure. This game, however, seems completely pointless after our recent trip to Colorado. I never cease to be amazed and restored by the beauty of God's creation.
Mother Theresa famously quoted St. Francis of Assisi for having said, "Preach the gospel at all times and if necessary use words." I understand the message here, but I happen to love the art of preaching and of course so does my husband; I also have found standing in humble majesty leaves me utterly speechless.