Has it really been a year already?

My sweet husband took me on a romantic weekend out of Waco so I haven’t had a chance to properly blog about this current milestone. Yes it has been a year, and for all the difficult things we have encountered up to this anniversary, our marriage has been the best part! We have learned so many things about each other and ourselves through being married- each day discovering how to truly love. I am faithfully convinced that as a couple, we serve the Lord and others better together than we would by ourselves, and I think that is what has made this complicated year so endurable and even enjoyable.

A few of these obstacles would include:

me needing a job last summer- I am now almost finished with the alternative teaching certification program and already re-signed my contract with Waco ISD for next year,

combined with many prayers about finances- many times the exact amount we have been short has showed up in the form of a gift from a family member or friend; isn't that amazing that they "just knew"? The Lord has yet to provide too little,

our first home- quaint, cute, and bug/rodent infested- We didn’t even have to break the lease! Just when we decided we couldn’t take it anymore, we received a phone call from the “new owner” which meant our old lease was void if we wanted to move. We now have a larger, much more energy efficient, study-for-Ryan, fabulous back yard and spacious-kitchen home,

this semester- We thought we were busy in college and we were dead wrong. However, again- the Lord has yet to provide too little- energy that is. This semester, Ryan has taken 12 hours of grad school at Truett, worked at least 3 nights a week at Ninfa’s, and preached every Sunday at Adamsville Presbyterian Church- the sweetest congregation this side of the Mississippi. I have been teaching/surviving my first year, and taking night classes every Monday and Wednesday plus every other Saturday to complete my certification.

Going into this semester was quite overwhelming for both of us, but looking back we survived one week at a time and even still went on dates. Shawn Shannon often quotes the Lord’s promise to the tribe of Asher- “As is your day, so shall your strength be.”

These are just a few to list, but after all this… we both recognize how our love has grown, our dreams have merged, and our hope for the future has become much more pinpointed.

Our most immediate hope for the future will be arriving on or around November 14, 2009 and we will find out next month the gender of this tiny hope! Becoming parents is such an exciting and terrifying thought that we wouldn’t for a second hand off this opportunity to trade for anything. We know that we will learn so much more about ourselves and each other through this next life step, but we are not afraid. I am blessed to have such a wonderful, hard-working, sensitive to my needs, serving husband who so obviously loves people and shares his passion with me in this adventure that has become our life. Yes it has been a year already, a wonderful first year.

Here are a few pictures from that day that we so anxiously awaited “I do”.

we are not home yet

Jesus in the garden instructs Peter, James and John three times one simple command: "Keep watch". But prior to this instance, in the last parable Mark records, Jesus says, "What I say to you, I say to all: Watch!"

Emily Dickinson writes:

I many times thought peace had come,
When peace was far away;
As wrecked men deem they sight the land
At centre of the sea,

And struggle slacker, but to prove,
As hopelessly as I,
How many the fictitious shores
Before the harbor lie.

Christians must be careful not to think the job complete. We are not home yet. Therefore, you and I must continue to "keep watch"; this, however, is not an inactive duty. Jesus asks Peter (in the plural), "Could you all not keep watch with me for just one hour? Watch and pray..."

Prayer is not inactivity either. As Rabbi Heschel says, "Prayer takes the mind out of the narrowness of self-interest, and enables us to see the world in the mirror of the holy." When this happens, when we see the world from an aspect void of ego, we will react to injustice, practice redemption, and execute love.

What I say to you, I say to all: [keep] watch!

hoovervilles

its been eight years since i've had US history, but i do remember Mr. Masington showing both pictures and videos of the hoovervilles of the 1930's. when you learn something in high school history you are lead to believe it is history - not to be revisited. However, today's New York Times reminded me of the new reality of hoovervilles popping up around the nation because of the current economic woes.

Check out the story:

Cities Deal With a Surge in

Shantytowns

now the question is what is the response of the church?

i have the benefit of living in Texas, a state weathering the recession well, and i have little understanding of the stress and despair that my neighbor is enduring. but i must have some loving response.... i just don't yet know what it is

In sickness and in health

Ryan recently caught a nasty stomach bug. Needless to say, this was an unpleasant experience for him, but it was just as unpleasant for me to see him weak, uncomfortable, and worst of all in pain. The opening night to this sickness resulted in our first all-nighter since college, and Ryan doesn't remember much about the ordeal.
He kept apologizing for ruining our plans and getting sick and was still wanting to protect me even though he was the one who needed to be cared for.
There was this one conversation...

Ryan: I'm so sorry I'm sick. I messed everything up.
Me: What did I tell you?
(* This is what I expected him to say: It's not my fault I'm sick.*)
Ryan: You said, "I love you."

Such the sweetly, simple truth. I'm so glad that's what he heard.

I often hear people say things beginning with, "I feel like God wants me to..." or "I think God is telling me to...". Sometimes we need to focus more on the underlying message. God said, "I love you."

(I'm happy to report that Ryan's fever broke, and he is on the upside on this last day of his spring break. Good timing!)

water

Back in 2006, I spent a life changing summer in Yosemite National Park (a story for another time) and during that summer I had plenty of time to sit back, take in, and reflect on creation. One afternoon, I walked up to Devils Bathtub and sat down on the left side of the cliff. I think I sat there for over three hours, a time I spent in deep thought over life, purpose, the church, and mostly water. Yes water. Water is amazing to me. It is the blood of creation; without it, life would cease to exist.

In the creation narrative of Genesis we read that the spirit of God hovered over the surface of the waters, and then the waters were tamed - separated. The ancients saw the seas as chaos; therefore, some scholars believe the Jewish creation narrative speaks to the reality of God controlling chaos. *this of course has great implications.

So back to July 2006, there I sat on a perch looking out over the Yosemite Valley, formed by water; drinking water out of my Nalgene; thinking about the essence of water. Sadly, I did not have the presence of mind to connect the importance of water and the Genesis creation narrative to the sacrament of baptism… However, just a few days ago Tertullian helped me out:

The Spirit of God, who hovered over the waters from the beginning, would continue to linger over the waters of the baptized ...All waters, therefore, in virtue of the pristine privilege of their origin, do, after invocation of God, attain the sacramental power of sanctification ...Water was the first to produce that which had life, that it might be no wonder in baptism if waters know how to give life.

So I beg you, when you take a drink of water today, remember the baptism you have received - a baptism that gives life.

Prayer

Tomorrow we will finish up a seven weeks series on prayer. During this series we have looked at what prayer does: 1)changes you and I 2)changes situations; then we looked at four prayers in Scriptures that give us prospective and examples of prayer: Psalm 51 - 'prayer of repentance', Habakkuk 3:17-19 - 'prayer of trust', Nehemiah 1:5-12 - 'prayer of petition', John 17:9-19 'prayer that imparts purpose'. Tomorrow we will attempt to tackle one of the more difficult aspects of prayer: 'unanswered prayer'.

In all these discussions I have learned at least one thing... out of all the things I do poorly, prayer is the one thing that I wish to work on the most.

To quote Abraham Joshua Heschel:
We do not refuse to pray; we abstain from it. We ring the hollow bell of selfishness rather than absorb the stillness that surrounds the world, hovering over all the restlessness and fear of life - the secret stillness that precedes our birth and succeeds our death. Futile self-indulgence brings us out of tune with the gentle song of nature's waiting, of mankind's striving for salvation. Is not listening to the pulse of wonder worth silence and abstinence from self-asserting? Why do we not set apart an hour of living for devotion to God by surrendering to stillness? Rushing through the ecstasies of ambition, we only awake when plunged into dread or grief. In darkness, then, we grope for solace, for meaning, for prayer.

I leave you with one last word on prayer - it is the benediction I have given for the past few weeks...

May you continually wrestle with Prayer

May you beseech the door of Heaven with shameless boldness.

May your Prayers produce, in you, a countenance of joy, a gracious demeanor, and a peaceful heart

And may the God of hope, fill you with all peace, that you may abound in hope, assured that your prayers are heard by a loving and gracious Father.

Busy?

This is my best friend, former roommate, matron of honor, and cousin by marriage Michon. Obviously, I love her very much. I don't get to see her nearly us often as I wish, but sometimes we have rare moments where the planets align and our schedules allow us to be available at the same time to talk on the phone. One of the things I love about Michon is her ability to share with people in an incredibly applicable way that just makes sense. My example of this is my inspiration for this thought.

We always discuss our busy lives and catch each other up when we talk and last time, Michon- without even meaning to be clever- said something very profound. She was telling me about her husband (my cousin whom I also love) and how he is working full-time and going to school full-time making some days very long. However, after explaining this, she agreed this is hard but then continued with how well he is doing spiritually, physically, and staying organized vs. when he has too much time on his hands.

Michon's observation has kept me thinking the last few days, because I realize how true this is for me as well. You would think that having plenty of time on your hands would be optimal above being driven by the monster planner. And yet, I feel equipped to analyze myself (since I have a minor in psychology) and would attest to a personality type to blame for the social butterfly chip that is burried deep inside me and finally admit I need to be around people. Even if that means I will be busy vs. solidly available. I still intensly believe that balance must exist, but as I continue to learn about myself as a believer and now a wife and next a teacher, I understand the value of the relationships in my life. I am so thankful for my husband, my family, my friends (local and abroad), and my job. Where would I be without it all?