Sacred Companions: Part II

This chapter was written for me. The following portions underlined in my book left me saying, "Ouch" quite a bit.

Chapter 2: Hospitality, Presence & Dialogue

"... what the person does is secondary in importance to who he or she is. Being must precede doing." (p. 46)

"Spiritual friendship is not primarily a matter of doing certain things. Often, in fact, it is precisely the opposite of doing- not interrupting, not attempting to solve problems, not prematurely or inappropriately advising, not assuming that what has worked for us will work for others. Stated positively: spiritual friendship is a gift of hospitality, presence, and dialogue." (p. 46)

"... soul friends show hospitality by making space in their lives for others." (p. 46)

"... one of the biggest challenges I face in being present for others- being still within my own soul. Stillness is the precondition of presence." (p. 47)

"Soul hospitality is also a gift of safety. Think of feeling safe enough with another person that without weighing words or measuring thoughts you are able to pour yourself out, trusting that the other person will keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away." (p. 48)

"Love is th motive for the gift of presence that the soul host offers others." (p. 48)

"Apart from real love for real people, we will always be dealing with secret (or not so secret) impatience, judgmentalism, disgust, resentment, envy or anger. Real people require real love if we are to give a gift of genuine presence." (p. 49)

"[Presence] also demands I stop analyzing what I am hearing or rehearsing how I will respond." (p. 50)

"To be present to you means that I must be prepared, temporarily, to be absent to me." (p. 50)

"It's so tempting to believe that faking presence is an acceptable alternative to offering genuine presence. But it isn't. And at some level of awareness the other person will always recognize the difference." (p. 51)

"Presence does not demand perfection." (p. 51)

"If I genuinely bring myself to a relationship, I must be prepared to be changed by it." (p. 52)

"When we treat others as objects, even for benevolent reasons, we rob them of their humanity." (p. 55)

"How could I fail to treat Christ with respect? How, then, can I fail to treat a person in whom Christ is present  with the same respect? Respect is the foundation of dialogue, and Christians have a unique resource for offering it: eyes of faith that allow us to see those we encounter as deeply loved by God and bearing his image." (p. 56)

*If you have ever read this book, please feel free to leave your favorite quotes as comments! I would love to see what spoke to you in each of the chapters.