Sacred Companions: Part I

A beautiful friend introduced me to this book. 

I am loving it! I have been a little spiritually slow lately; this book is reviving a direction in me that I have been wondering hopefully, looking for connection and companionship. 

In the preface, the reader is advised to take on this book with a pen ready to underline. I recommend this book to you, but I will also be sharing here on this blog my underlined portions. Although, it will be hard to not just copy and paste the entire chapters.

Chapter 1: The Transformational Journey

"The distant land to which we are called is not heaven. Nor is it some external, physical place. The distant land is the new creature into which Christ wishes to fashion us- the whole and holy person that finds his or her uniqueness, identity and calling in Christ." (p. 26)

"God doesn't want me to become more loving. He wants me to absorb his love so that it flows out from me." (p. 34)

"Thomas Merton reminds us that the root of Christian love is not the will to love but the faith to believe that one is deeply loved by God." (p. 34)

"The goal of the Christian spiritual journey is not to become less human and more divine; it is to become more fully human. Salvation in not to rescue us from our humanity; it is to redeem our humanity." (p. 35)

"Spirituality is the response of spirit to Spirit." (p. 42)

*If you have ever read this book, please feel free to leave your favorite quotes as comments! I would love to see what spoke to you in each of the chapters.

Sam's fooling himself

I truly believe that spirituality and healthy living are connected. Our whole being is affected by our moods and energy levels, which can be influenced by our nutrition. Why not influence our bodies for the good?


I don't email large companies to patronize them; I offer my hope that they will move in healthier directions for the sake of my family and for an entire nation that is battling obesity even in children. We can't continue blindly eating. We must question where it came from, how it was cultivated, were chemicals used in growth, were chemicals injected, were natural ingredients replaced with manufactured ones and labeled light?

Here is a recent email I sent to Sam's Club. After reading my email, I will explain why these things are important to me, and then you can read Sam's response to me.

Customer Message: I am a new member of Sam's club in Roswell, NM. I have shopped once and found a few things I was interested in buying from this store. I was mostly disappointed with how few healthy options were offered. The world is moving in a healthier direction and it is for the best. Please offer more organic options and check ingredients for high fructose corn syrup. I was really looking forward to buying meat from Sam's, but you do not offer any options in poultry that include free roaming, air chilled chicken or at least all natural. We were very excited to join Sam's club, but we will not renew next year if we do not see healthy changes for the better. Thank you.


Now that we live in a small town, Sam's shopping was an exciting Christmas  gift for us to receive so we can save a few bucks in comparison to our pricey small town options. We drove a little over an hour to the nearest Sam's, got our picture cards made, and started shopping! As we went up and down the isles, I saw a lot of things I used to buy, but have stopped purchasing because of the long lists of artificial ingredients.
*If you are comparing two similar products and scanning two lists of ingredients, when in doubt, choose the smaller list.
*Avoid high fructose corn syrup and aspartame like the palgue.
*Quick meat lesson: 1.) Many cows and chickens spend their entire life standing in one spot, squished in a windowless building with hundreds of other cows or chickens. Not only is this a horrible life, these poor animals are constantly producing the "fight or flight" hormone in their bodies without the ability to fight or fly which is stressful. Those hormones do not disappear when they are butchered, they are eaten by you if you buy the cheapest beef or poultry options. What to do you think happens to our bodies if we consume these stressful hormones? 2.) Chicken has two popular options of being preserved. It can be air-chilled, which is exactly what it sounds like. The chicken is immediately cooled for freshness; this is the option you want. Look for air-chilled when you purchase chicken. The other option is for the chicken to be dunked in water. This makes the bird expand so you appear to have more meat. Besides the dirty optical illusion, the water lessens the flavor of the meat so the chicken is then injected with a salt solution that the packages cleverly refer to as "broth". (If you live near me, Thrifty Way and Mario's are the only places in town that offer air-chilled chicken.)
*Be very careful when buying frozen, prepared foods. Check ingredients and nutritions facts, especially for fat and salt content.


Now see Sam's response.


Kristyn:

Thank you for contacting Sam's Club regarding your concern. Sam's Club offers a variety of healthy food options including tuna, MM canned chicken breast, and our healthier light chicken and beef progresso soup.  We appreciate your business and thank you for shopping with Sam's.

Regards,

Senecca
Sam's Club Member Services


(The tuna she is referring to is albacore- the worst tuna you can eat because it has the highest concentration of mercury. From this tuna-lover, stay away from albacore and always make sure the fish is packaged in water, not oil.) 


The more customer feedback companies receive, the more information they can put back into ordering products for their shelves. However, in this case, I feel like my healthy requests fell on deaf ears (or eyes rather). Senecca is correct; there are three products Sam's sells that may borderline on the healthy side. What I can't believe is that Sam's Club Member Services finds "three" an acceptable number of healthy options to offer their shoppers.


Saving a few dollars is not important enough for me to feed my family food I do not approve of. 

"I think I've had an apostrophe!"

"I think you mean epiphany." 

I really have! First of all, this is the first time in my life I have closely followed the seasons of the church. I grew up Baptist and I didn't know there were different Christian seasons celebrated by dates and colors throughout the annual calendar. We are currently in the season of epiphany until lent and the color is green to celebrate new growth and new life. Now that you see how perfect the timing is, I must share!

New Year Resolution:

(I feel like it is a little late to announce a new year resolution, but since I've never really been a resolution person, I am cashing in on the resolution deadline extension.)

Benefit of the doubt

I will explain even though this seems simple and self explanatory.
I am a huge advocate for benefit of the doubt. I desperately want to believe that people will mean well even if they did not speak, respond, or act well. 

Ergo a scenario: At what point did receiving a gift mean that you will be forever written off if you do not respond in the gift-giver's designated thank-you note time window? 

Give and take: give, out of the joy of your heart. Receive, in a gracious spirit, and yes, hopefully thank the giver. But sometimes we give so happily and then in such an ugly turn for the worst, become BITTER beyond all reason because we did not receive a response. I urge myself and all, to maintain the joy of giving and assume. Yes I know what assume stand for and I don't care. Assume that the person was appreciative and excited and don't expect anything in return. And then, if the giver chooses to respond, be blessed again, above the joy. Skip the bitterness all together.

Benefit of the doubt

This applies to so much more than just gifts. My husband and I joke about how some people do not have "filters". A filter (n) [is] a conscience-based mechanism that scans your words and actions for socially and situationally acceptable jargon, jokes, comments, stories, shareable opinions, and expressions of feeling. 

Ergo a scenario: A stranger touching a pregnant woman's belly without permission and asking if it is twins, definitely does not have a filter. Michael Scott from the office, definitely does not have a filter. A political enthusiast expecting you to agree with them because you both breathe oxygen and spouting off slurs toward the other party, definitely does not have a filter. You get the idea. 

The above mentioned scenarios are painful when lived out in real life, yet I still have to think that the person meant well. Perhaps their unfiltered behavior is a result of a deeper-rooted insecurity. Perhaps it is the only way they know to act. They have needs just like everyone and to turn my back on them in repulsion based on my ideas of social skills, is to withdraw the hand of grace and friendship. That is not what Jesus did. Jesus demonstrated the rawest form of acceptance to those society had every right to shun based on laws and people skills- good thing Jesus sees past all that. 

Benefit of the doubt/New Year's Resolution

It is recorded in the gospels that Jesus urges us to not judge others.
Luke 6:37-38

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

I turn the mirror of reflection on myself. 

I do not write this as a master of people skills. I write this as a humbled screw-up when it comes to handling situations well. 

Ergo a scenario: In my insecurity, I have assumed before that silence from others in our lives at times must mean flaws in the fabric of our friendship. But why? There are so many other reasons  (# 1 being busy lives) that we may not have had chances to talk > benefit of the doubt frees me from judgement. 

And that's just one example. I think if I can live by this resolution, I will free myself from a prison of judgement and perhaps relieve myself and others of some unnecessary grief. Feel free to join me in my journey of benefit of the doubt. 

To growth and life in this new year. May we recognize the presence of God and walk in truth. Amen.

Farewell 2010

Our year in a nutshell...

We brought in the new year with four Grissoms.

The first day of Ryan's very last Truett Seminary class- a bitter-sweet idea.

Thanks to Joanne (Hye) and Uncle Cam, Ryan attended classes, I continued teaching, and Jack was able to stay home with loved ones.

Jack's first experience with snow! (And a rare occurrence for Waco, TX. This snow followed a 70-degree Sunday.)

Ryan officiated his first wedding and it was beautiful! We love Scot and Kelsey and could not be happier for them!

We know this couple from the church at Adamsville. Our fist church with the loveliest and most hospitable people! This is the only church I have ever been in where they still ring a bell to start the church service. I came to love the sound of that bell. As the tradition goes at Adamsville, a child rings the bell. As you can see no one is too young to participate. This church will always hold a special place in our hearts.

Jack's first camping trip- we were so proud! He slept on a thermorest and everything!

I finished my 2nd year teaching. My prayers stay with this school and I love and miss my teaching friends.

One of our big milestones this year was moving out of state. We have all three been Texans our whole lives (Ryan and I a little longer than Jack). We packed up and headed for the mountains!

We had A LOT of help in this moving process. We are so grateful to our cleaners, moving truck packers, box unloaders, trip companions, and encouragers. We could not have done this without you.

Ryan and I were brought on staff at Los Altos Christian Church in Albuquerque, NM. We had no idea at the time just how influential this church would be in our path to our church. We are eternally grateful to the mentorship and support of Steve and Debbie Chisolm.

Ryan served as the associate minister and I served as the youth minister. All

youth ministers wish they had a youth group as fabulous as I did!

The Mosley's came to visit.

We were invited to visit one of our favorite couples at their cabin in Ruidoso, NM. This couple is adorable and we hope to be like them "when we grow up". Yet again, another influential event that we had no idea of the significance at the time.

Jack's first plane ride! We flew back to Texas for Tepi and Joey's beautiful wedding. Congratulations again you two!

While Jack and I toured Texas, Ryan went backpacking with John and his dad in Colorado.

Ryan received his diploma! Being an August graduate, he would not have a graduation ceremony until December; I've never seen Ryan so giddy to open a USPS-delivered package.

The Meachams came to visit.

Cam and Michelle got hitched! And we caught up with good friends. We love all these people!

Our baby boy celebrated his first birthday and all his grandparents
were able to be there to celebrate!

Jack spent some quality time with cousins.

We have been praying for "our future church" since we were engaged. We have known all along that Ryan wanted to serve as a pastor in a church. We were willing to go anywhere, but our dream has always been to live in the mountains. The whole story of our journey to First Christian Church, Ruidoso unfolds as a miracle of God's timing. We feel so completely blessed to now be at a beautiful church full of beautiful people and of all places, in the mountains. We love our church already!

Remember the couple we visited in Ruidoso earlier this summer? Not only are they adorable, they are generous beyond mind-boggling reason. We found a house, but due to government stipulations, we could not purchase the home until Ryan had 30-day proof of employment. Catch 22: How can he start working if we have no where to live? The Coats graciously offered their gorgeous cabin as a temporary home for us until we could purchase our house. It gets better. The Coats told us over a year ago about Ruidoso and "this cute church that you would be perfect for". They have been hugely significant in our final destination path to ministry and permanence.

Ryan's graduation ceremony was a proud moment for all of us!

And our final family milestone for 2010: we are home owners!

We would not have survived this last year without a lot of help. We are grateful, appreciative and humbled of every gift (support, babysitting, financial, moving, listening, etc.) we received as a family in 2010. Thank you for caring about us. We feel so loved!

As we move into 2011, we are so excited about our new church family and our expanding personal family as we look forward to welcoming two nieces and a nephew!

helpful child vs. destructive parenting

Most of you know I taught middle school English to 7th graders in Waco, TX for two years. What I am about to describe does not pertain to every child I crossed paths with during those two years.

In my classroom, in the hallway, definitely in the lunchroom, I noticed a negative cloud of entitlement. In this place, it is not unusual for a child to be asked to help someone do something and be refused because it's not their job and you can't make them. This also applies to homework. We as teachers tried many tactics to entice the students to actually do their homework and bring it back, but as I was told on more than one occasion, if the student refuses to do what their parent asks them, why should they do what I ask them? Good question, but it's the wrong question. Why are you refusing to do what your parent asks you? What created this air of laziness and why do you think a life of nothing is better than a life of involvement? I came across an article from www.babycenter.com that I found very interesting. I have copied and pasted a few parts below:

Tool: Ask for your child's help
Age: 12 months to 8 years
How it works: Researchers know something parents may not: Kids come into the world programmed to be helpful and cooperative. All we have to do as parents is take advantage of this natural tendency. "Kids are innately wired to want to cooperate," says Kathryn Kvols. "A lot of times we parents just don't notice this because we don't expect children to be helpful."

…

Kvols says. "You're teaching your child to be helpful, which is one of the most important life skills. We've found time and again that the people who are most mentally healthy are those who've learned to be of service to others."

Isn’t that fascinating? I fully believe this is true. I wonder how many of my students when they were younger were positively encouraged to take responsibility for themselves and in turn were praised for a good or helpful choice?
I have actually sat in parent conferences (yes plural) where the parent and child had a cussing match.

In the comical and ridiculous movie “Corky Romano”, the sensitive main character tells a gang of thugs regarding their vicious guard dog, “Bad dogs aren’t born; they’re made.” While Corky’s timing didn’t bring about good results for him, I think he’s right about dogs and I would apply this to children as well. 

My son will pick up a remote and immediately point it at the t.v. Today he was loaned a few toys to occupy him while we were out and in the toy basket was a play phone. He’s not allowed to play with our phones and he doesn’t have a play phone at home but the moment he saw this toy, he picked it up and put it to his ear. 

You are wondering about my point: I am trying to prove through my own experiences that I am positive children watch us very closely and understand far more than they are given credit for. We as parents MUST model a helpful and responsible attitude. We MUST encourage even the smallest good decisions far more often than a daily basis.

I still am wrestling with a question though. What do you do when you see a destructive parent?
I have watched parent-child interactions in public that have literally haunted me. In one instance, the toddler’s nickname was “Sh*t head” and the parent was laughing about it since the kid “didn’t understand”. Another time I stood in the checkout line behind a teenage parent and another toddler watching thier “game” where the parent would slap the child’s cheek and the young boy would make a fist and punch the parent in the face.

I am sickened to think of the messages these children are receiving. So I return to my question. What do you do when you see this? I am honestly struggling with this. I feel an obligation to this child’s future, but socially I know it’s not my place. 

What do you do?

Birth of JESUS according to Facebook

My little sister sent me this video. This is a very clever modern day depiction of Mary and Joseph's story.

Hats off to...

Quite often I ponder what my life would be like without Ryan.

If you stop reading after that first line, you may be concerned for our marriage. Worry not; let me explain:
Ryan almost always takes out the trash, often helps me with the dishes, checks the mail, tickles Jack until his one dimple can't sink any deeper and he can't squeal any louder, sometimes surprises me with plans, goes back to the store to get what I forgot, carries the high chair AND tray at Chick-fil-A... the list could go on and on. It's the times when Ryan is unable to help me do these things that I realize how blessed I am. Some people don't have any one to help them at all. Much less a loving, supportive spouse.
Life with Ryan is energetic, fun, and eventful in a good way. Life without my Ryan would be difficult, exhausting, and draining. I love my son dearly to a level I never knew was possible, but there is a reason children should have two parents. After moving to a new state this summer, I have traveled back to Texas a few times for various reasons and mostly by myself with Jack. I have tasted the single parent life and I empathize.

Hats off to single parents.

I applaud you for waking up this morning and starting your day knowing it probably wouldn't be easy. I applaud you for every bit of encouragement you offered your child when you really didn't feel like talking. I applaud you for cooking dinner. I applaud you for squishing the shopping cart into the handicap stall in the Wal-mart bathroom because there was no one else to hold your offspring (yes nature calls single parents in public too).
You are an unsung hero.